I've always been drawn to bad guys much more than Good guys. What is lamer than someone who always follows the rules? It's why batman will always be cooler than superman. Always. And if you disagree well you're just wrong. Someone who has an edge to them seems and feels more round of a character. There's more depth. People who wear the white hat and do what's right fall flat to me. I'm not saying being a good person is bad. I'm saying that if you never cross the line every so often from Boy Scout to a little bastard you're probably boring. We're drawn to that dark side.
You see it in movies television shows and all other parts of the media. You even see it in politics. Trump got elected partially because he spoke his mind and was unfiltered. To be politically correct is seen as weakness. And when he speaks, at least at that time, he seems to mean what he says. Who is the coolest person in the galaxy? The answer is Darth Vader. No other answer. That's it. And who is more of a bad ass? Nobody that's who. You have a guy who is dressed completely in black, has no qualms about force choking someone just for answering a question the wrong way and yet can still wax philosophical about life, talk about bringing balance to the world and be a good dad in the end of it all. That is a bad ass.
Meanwhile in Hawkins Indiana we have a little girl named eleven. If you're a fan of Stranger Things you know how awesome she is. If you aren't then you should be. Eleven taps into the darker side of being good. She's willing to bend the rules for the greater good and makes no apologies for it. That's part of her mass appeal. We all feel powerless in life at one point or another. Because of that many people relate to someone who can do fantastic things and come out more or less unscathed on the other side. When characters go through everyday problems on top of the stylistic fiction laden issues in shows it makes them more relatable. There's a sense of comradeship between us and them when you see that Iron Man has issues with relationships or that Wolverine feels like he is isolated from the world.
Often I talk about comfort in this blog. I think there is a true lack of comfort and confidence present in most people. It's a big reason why guardians of the galaxy two will be a huge hit when it comes out. People identify with these fantastical characters and big personalities coming out on top though they on paper should get nowhere and like it. Because we feel so disconnected from others and so lost in general we gravitate to stories that help us both escape from that reality but also show us that others feel that way too. We want to see people have something in them that make them special but we also want to see their struggle because then they feel more like us. I always feel different from my friends and coworkers. I look at myself as having no idea what I'm doing most of the time. But the more I talk to people the more I see that almost everyone feels that way. Pretty much everyone I know goes to a job that isn't exactly what they imagined. They have things that make them anxious. They make mistakes and are self conscious about themselves. And a lot of them wish they were something more than they are. Hence why we see so many "damaged" characters on tv and in movies. It's how we relate to them through the kinship of unhappiness that we share underneath the veil. That undercurrent binds us in a weird way. It's the yin to the being a good person yang. Look online and it won't take you long to find that angry sentiment. Ever read the comments on a YouTube video? Tell me how long you look before you find some heinous shit. But being good just isn't as cool.
When you talk to a guy who has trouble getting a relationship for example you'll very often hear the following:
Dicks get everything. I should just be a dick.
Unfortunately my friend is kind of right. Dicks do seem to get it all. Because a dick doesn't care and is normally out for themselves. The problem with that though is you don't know what else they are carrying. They could be hurting as much as you maybe don't have the best relationships with people who know. But what you see is the perceived positive points of their lives. You can't see anything on the inside. Focusing on what others have (or what you perceive that they have) isn't going to help you. To the contrary it's going to make it so you never get to point b. Ever. Because you can't control them and if your endgame is be better than that dickbag Kevin in the finance department you're probably going to lose homie. Who says that Kevin is better first of all? You can't gauge that. All you can do is be the best you that you can. Maybe stop comparing and start living your life on your own path and terms. You can't just become a dick overnight. It doesn't work that way. You're you, not a dick. So what will most likely happen is people will see you acting differently and say hey Chris why are you being a dick that's not you? And what are you going to say, I want more people to like me so I'm being a dick? You'll sound like a real dick then trust me. Being comfortable with yourself isn't easy. It takes time and effort and learning and self reflection. Most of all it takes a massive amount of honesty. That's the hardest part of all. Self awareness and reflection are scary because it's as real and close as you can get. You know who is really good at self reflection? Batman. He knows what he is and makes no apologies. He does what he feels is right and can justify it. It's also hard to argue with him. And that's why if you can be anything be yourself unless you can be Batman. Then be Batman.
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