"James, do you like your life? Can you find release? And will you ever change? When will you ever write your masterpiece?"
-Billy Joel
Recently I decided to open an art business based primarily online. I'm completely new to the scene and took some time to learn as much as I could setting up a business plan and budgets ensuring that I would make all the right decisions and take all the opportunities as they presented themselves to me. I wish this was actually true. I've never run my own business before now and did very little planning or organizing in doing things. I'm a classically trained anti-business person who hears words like leverage and synergy and hoes into almost a Vietnam-flashback-type trance. With a little bit of work I probably could have saved myself some stress and aggravation but I'm an artist at heart and we creative types don't do that planning shit, you lame ass. My transition from corporate office living to the starving artist bohemian shuffle is gradually taking shape. I welcome the weight loss associated with having no money for food but the other pieces of it have not set in yet. I spent a long time, countless hours and a few tears on my "career". The job I had was never one I wanted to stay in and just seemed to become part of my routine. It also became a huge issue for me emotionally. What I do for a living runs in direct conflict with my personal beliefs and the things I value. But, as with many others, I feel like I have to stay in it to support myself and not be another Star Wars fan who lives with his mother. Regardless of the coolness of being a nerd these days, that is still a no go for me. I need my space and I have a hard time being on someone else's schedule.
Fear kept me from taking the steps I needed to make my transition. Fear of failure, fear of committing my time to something that could not translate to anything, fear of looking like a fool. I'm proud of my work and think others can benefit from my creativity. A smile goes a long way and it could really brighten up a wall.
This all got me thinking about our dreams and satisfaction with our lives. So many of us settle for less than we truly want out of a few different factions. The main one, as I think we've established is fear. But there are other things that get in the way of not just our success but also our progress. Confidence is a huge component. Being confident isn't easy. It's very telling when you speak to a person and see that they are willing to settle into something they hate instead of taking the chance to make something more of themselves and their lives. Comfort is another issue but I think calling it comfortable to deal with something as unpleasant as a dead end meaningless job is a bit of a stretch. We talk about being in and out of our comfort zone. We talk about challenging ourselves to be more than we thought we should or could be. The issue I have with that concept is pretty simple: how do you gauge success? What makes you happy? If you are striving to be like someone else, for example folks in your age group that you might think have it more together, you're setting yourself up for disaster. You can't compare yourself to them because you're you and they're them. Simple. Be the best you and stop worrying about them. Being comfortable with yourself is important because you're always with you. No matter what you do you're there.
Our dreams are very personable. They're like babies in a way. We protect them, help them grow and feel devastated when something bad happens to them. So because of that we should be careful with them. Take the time to let them grow and in turn be good to ourselves. Make things easier for you. Plan things a little. Put in some work. Lose yourself in the process and don't let the extras and the details derail you. Try to like your life a little more than you hate it. We only have one and it's short no matter how long it may feel. What we do with it ultimately is our own doing and we have to get it as right as we can. If you have bumps in the road that's life as they say. Brush yourself off and go forward. But if nothing else I've said resonates, please remember this:
If you're not going to be good to yourself then honestly, who is?
Besides John Stamos. Because he's my spirit animal.
See you Sunday.
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