"What do I think about this winter? It's going to be cold. It's going to be dark. And it's going to last us the rest of our lives. " -Bill Murray
That's a quote from one of my favorite movies Groundhog Day. In the movie, Phil Connors a weatherman who has an acerbic and overall negative view of life, is given the opportunity to live his life over and over again. During the course of the film he encounters the same people and situations but tries to approach them differently and eventually learns about life and attitude along the way. It's a great film and I suggest everyone watch it. The movie brings up an interesting idea that I can absolutely relate to. This is the idea of doing it again. Getting another chance (or in Phil's case 1087 chances ) to do something.
Life is complicated as shit. Every day we get a new chance but we have to build on what we learned the day before. Every day is a blank slate but we also walk into it different than we were. Hindsight is great but the issue remains: we have to capitalize on it. If something you're doing isn't working change it. I know easier said than done. People will be condescending and make you feel like a bowl of shit everyday. Winter will come and stay and make you feel all SAD. You'll be at the end of your rope at some point too. It's bound to happen. But you have to maintain hope. Hope makes things better. If your circle isn't supportive try a square or a triangle. Every road has been trodden. Except yours. See how that works?
Your path is yours. You create it and if you let other people dictate it for you you're going to be miserable. Trust me. And nobody wants someone who is a human Grumpy Cat. Nobody. Winter doesn't have to last the rest of your life. Event when it's here it can be summer. If you're one of those weirdo people who love to ski and shit then I can't explain your psychosis. But what I can say is that the sun also rises and the world can be beautiful. You have to let it. When stuff gets in your way go around it. Or try to get over it. Build a bridge of positive drive and climb dude. Don't be fake positive. More like being a non-defeatist. I'm not saying to hug yourself and claim to be special. I'm saying to not give up right away. I'm saying that yes, that guy in your office is a dick. He'll probably always be one too especially if you don't like him. I'm also saying to let him be him and you be you because ultimately it doesn't matter. He doesn't have to have an impact on you because he doesn't. You don't need a do-over. Promise. What you need is an attitude adjustment (from John Cena) and maybe a little light kick in the pants. In my life I've always felt like there was a cosmic power that tried to keep me grounded. It was never what I did but rather the adversity I faced that kept me stagnant. That kind of thinking makes it easier to not go anywhere. Because nothing is your fault...
...Except that everything becomes your fault. How? Glad you asked. When you place the blame on everyone else you become a victim of circumstance. In that case nothing you do can succeed because all your actions are futile. You've given up on everything all at once and made a blanket excuse for it all at once. Because of that you stop trying. When you stop trying you place yourself into a set mode of coasting and nothing moves forward. So you become bitter and complacent and resign yourself to a life where you just aren't a winner. Or a permanent patron of the Black Cloud Diner where all the glasses are dirty and your fork has always been on the ground. So when you place yourself in that defeat corner where you are sprayed constantly with the Worry Hose you get nowhere. And that's why it's your fault all the time. Because you put baby in the corner. And nobody puts baby in the corner. And baby wants out but he can't because well why bother since you'll just get stomped down and beaten up anyways. So there in the corner you stay and it's sad and lonely there. And it's always winter but you don't ski. Your birthday comes and nobody notices because you're waiting for something that not even you know and you let the moments pass and become angrier at the world. And the best part is the world doesn't care so again you're the one who gets hurt. And then you make the biggest mistake looking back and you get depressed because you've wasted so much time. But you don't change because by now "that's just who you are". We lose a lot of great people that way. The answer isn't to take a lot of crazy chances. The answer isn't to blindly fly into shit. The answer definitely isn't to become a yes man. The answer is to not give up on yourself. You like to dance but look goofy doing it? Who cares, so does Ellen. You want to write a blog and only 100 people read it? It's better than no people reading it. Staying in your own head and dwelling on the things you can't do or don't do is counterproductive. Try not thinking as much. It is possible trust me. I'm a chronic over-thinker. And it kicks my ass. But now I catch myself and have a self dialogue that sometimes is said aloud. And I don't care. I'm doing it for me. I'm my best advocate and nobody is going to care about me more than me. Nobody. Not even your parents. Because they aren't you. You are. And you have to accept that. You're fine and if you're not then work on what isn't fine. Stuffing it into a drawer isn't helping. And that drawer is full of all kinds of crap. It's overflowing I'm sure. All those directions you're being dragged in? Try to pare them down. Use boundaries including with yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Don't be a diva or #real. Try instead to be #honest. Self reflection and understanding take time. It's not automatic. You're not necessarily an expert on you but you've got a good base. And your first finding should be that you're always a work in progress.
And that's ok.
Because we learn new things every single day. Winter is coming? Who gives a shit. Maybe you can learn to ski.
See you Sunday. Let's end the week strong.
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