Don't sweat the small big small stuff.

Whenever I watch Game of Thrones I am always distracted by the fact that everything is filthy. The kings ass is crusted with shit. Constantly. Chamber pots line his bedroom and the thought makes me uneasy. I obviously can't put myself into that time period regardless of how many times I watch Lord of the Rings or go to the occasional renaissance fair and overindulge in mead. But still the thought persists: how can they not smell how bad they smell? He's a king. Does he have serfs wipe him? Pirates too. They're even dirtier and take pride in it. Why is it called a poop deck? Is that where they clean up? With all the rum you know a mess is not far behind. Details like that never escape me. When I was a kid I was the one who asked why the group in a scary movie always breaks up into pairs. If they stayed together they could outnumber the killer and they'd be fine. Hitchcock famously said that if the woman didn't go into the haunted house where the killer was waiting then there wouldn't be a movie. And he's got a point alright. It's a matter of focus and choosing where to focus. When I was young I focused on minute bullshit. Now as an adult I focus on new minute bullshit. But I'm getting better at not losing myself in that. I hang a poster on my wall with two intrinsic circles. One is labeled what you can control the other what matters.  Where they overlap is what you should focus on. So simple yet unbelievably difficult to do. Even figuring out what is under my control is tough. Control is futile because there is very little, almost nothing really, that is under our control. But we try to take control because we're human. It's one of those very human things we do that we can't really explain like when something smells and we are compelled to smell it even though it really smells. 

The one thing we can control is how we react to things. Someone takes your ice cream cone while you're sitting in the park. What do you do? (DESTROY THEM OBVIOUSLY) those are the moments when control is most evident and most important. That's where life hinges. I forgot my anniversary one year. I then learned why flowers were sold at Walgreens. Because people forget sometimes. My reaction? To buy the roses, clip off the price and offer to make a special dinner so it seemed like I had this planned all along (oh let's do it together as a couple. That way we're sharing babe) that was the original Netflix and chill. Actually it was probably more along the lines of Nintendo and make out. But I digress....

Very often in my life I have felt helpless. Obligation after obligation made me crazy. But the thing is the only obligation I have is to myself. I'm not responsible for anyone but me. No kids no family of my own just me. The person who controls anything in my life is me and the way is through my reactions   So as I meander from day to day I have to remind myself that 1-I'll be alright and 2- i need to slow down and stop dousing myself with the worry hose. Life can be pretty amazing when you let it. But you have to let it. Live and let live works for the self and not just others. Take s minute. Breathe in breathe out move on as the great poet James "parrot head " Buffett so elegantly said. But he's right. His laid back lifestyle is so appealing because we're all so stressed. But that's not the end. It can get easier and better and funnier. You do you boo boo. Everywhere there are people taking opioids to relax and worrying their lives away instead of enjoy the moments as they come. We listen to respond instead of listening to listen and support. Stop worrying about where people are shitting. Or how they get clean. Or if they get clean for that matter. Unless they are next to you in a car. Then you just need to get the hell out of there.