I'm in my early thirties. I read that qualifies as being an adult. I'm not totally convinced in my case but science is science. As I've gotten older I've consistently felt as if my age has not correlated with my maturity. I don't mean that as people probably expect. Full and fair disclosure: I still find it funny when someone farts in public and giggle when my change includes 69 cents. I text words that double as dirty to my best friend like manhole or pea pod. And I still pretend Santa comes even though I know he's real. But I digress. The longer time passes the more I realize I don't know. All that crap I learned in high school about mitosis or prime numbers has all but evaporated. But I did learn other important stuff. Like who I can count on. Especially when things are tough. Or that sometimes it's more important to be civil than to be right. As I meander though this big old world I know that when I see someone who is like fifty that's an adult. When I see someone my age I see someone who is a larger grayer high school kid. We're fake adults. Even the ones of us who have kids. The grown ups have it together. The fake ones see Star Wars at midnight on Thursday even though we have work in the morning. It's a lot more fun being a fake adult. Having the bills and the stress and the craziness but also mixing in the fun of youth that we don't seem to want to let go of. And why should we? Arrested development? Screw that! Try self preservation. Are we a little soft? Maybe. Do we care a little too much about stuff and not enough about others? Probably. Is it annoying to ask and then answer your own questions especially in blog form? Absolutely. But I do this for our own good. In the background as I write this my background noise is an episode of ALF. why? Because I loved it when I was 8. So goddamit I will watch it now. It's comforting. It's not holding me back it's giving me a sense of calm. He's from Melmac. He eats cats. He's got a nose shaped like a "banana". And he's a reminder or when I was innocent and New and ready to charge the world. Now all I charge is an iPhone or my capital one card when I'm getting gas. These real adults I see all over seem so on edge. But still they seem so confident. Like the chaos drives them. That is something I wish I could relate to. Instead I feel overwhelmed by something like my headlights going out. I still call my dad when that happens even though his car knowledge is at best minimal. It'll end up that I take the car to his house park out front and he and I work through it together. He speculates and tries while I plot and plan. But in the end we work it through together. So much is written about millennials. How we're lazy and don't want to work hard. How we make excuses. I think we get a bad rap, yo. I'll go into the finer points next time but I think there is something to be said for generation x,y the boomers and the 80's kids to all get along. Because one day dinosaurs will comeback and when they do we'll need each other. And if you rewatch Jurassic Park you'll know how to be ready.
When I was a kid I thought I was going to be a doctor. Then I watched the movie Look Who's Talking saw the scene where Kirstie Alley has her baby and that ended that. I was about six and my mind was very easily changed. From that point on I started to make a lot of choices that I questioned. In kindergarten we had a bear that each of us would take for a week and care for. When the week was over we would give him (the bear was male, I peeked between his legs) something to remember us by like a hand colored picture or a leaf from the yard. The school year went by and I never got my chance to take care of the bear. When June approached and I being fully aware that there wasn't a whole week left asked my teacher, a wonderful man who I think of to this day, why I didn't get a chance his answer was simple: because you get to take him for the entire summer Armand. Now, most kids would see this as a huge opportunity and something to be excited about. I get to watch this bear all
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