Waiting for the train is kind of amazing every morning. The stop that I get on is first for the day for the time I take the train. Every morning at 7:37 an empty train pulls into the station. And every morning nine trillion people push their way onto the train. It blows my mind how this is always the case. The train is empty. Completely. Except for the conductors who take up no seats that is. And it gets in five minutes early. So I see why people might be afraid to miss out. It makes me think about the world as a whole. So many people trying to push and sneak by each other to get ahead. But the world really is one big empty train if you think about it. We're all looking for more or less the same things: fulfillment happiness success. It's not some big race that we all have been forced to run. But every morning that's exactly what it feels like. Think about walking in manhattan for example. It's the most populated city in the world and there are tourists everywhere. It's not unreasonable to think that maybe some folks there are trying to enjoy the city. My gut tells me that is why they visited. Is it annoying to be walking around and all of a sudden stop short to take a picture of the Olive Garden and Levi's store facades? Yes it is and frankly a little irresponsible and unsafe. Should we lose our shit and exclaim that we hate tourists? No. But that's what happens all the time. The city doesn't belong to you. Either does the train. We share the world whether you like it or not. There will always be camera toting people stopping short just like there will always be that guy who puts his bag on the seat during rush hour and there are people standing all over the car you're in. Inconsiderable people are here to stay. But that doesn't mean we can't still get along. I have a hard time separating the incidental actions of people and breaking it down to a massive character flaw on their part. Trying to not be as quick to judge is something I'm always working on. It really would help me stay more level headed and open minded throughout my day. Giving others the benefit of the doubt is probably healthy. But again I'm brought back to the train every morning. That one really blows my mind. If you're a commuter you know that the routine seems to sink in fairly quickly. You generally have the same several people on the train with you every day. You generally try to sit on the same car or same seat because you've convinced yourself that it's closer to the exit or the tunnel of the subway you need to take or whatever. But you claim ownership of "your " seat. You have convinced yourself that this is your space in some subliminal way that is kind of crazy. When I used to work closer to home and drive in, there were spots in our parking lot that belonged to people. They didn't but these people had claimed them. At least in their minds. All during the day while you're at work or whatever you're doing someone else is sitting in, drooling in, farting in your lovely little train seat. Right now a baby is puking on your seat. And you're sitting there doing nothing about it. It needs you and there you are flippantly enjoying your day. But it'll forgive you tomorrow as long as you bust through that open door and vault into it. And then you're the big winner of the race now aren't ya?
We focus so much on winning and coming out on top whether in business or in our social lives. We put ourselves out there so readily and post all the great things we do with our free time so everyone else can see. Now there's nothing wrong with sharing and posting. I'm posting right now so I can't be too against it can I? But the problem comes along with how when we see these great times and fun things we compare ourselves to these incidental stories. As I've said in the last, when you look at social media you're typically seeing your cousin out at happy hour and not the other stress she goes through during her day. This can create stress in people who are dissatisfied with their lives and can't separate themselves from what they're consuming online. It brings with it a competitive game that frankly isn't much fun. We start trying to find something to make us feel fulfilled. Often this is futile because the reality is things don't fulfill you: people and self awareness do. When you accept who you are and are comfortable with yourself then the whole concept of competing and the race kind of goes away. Your focus changes and you (hopefully) stop trying to collect as much stuff, both physical and mental, as you possibly can. A lot of us define ourselves by what we own and not who we are. If that was true I would be a pile of comics, cds, movies, actions figures still in box and duplicated Stephen King novels ( and don't forget my drawer of wallets). For a long time I tried to fill a hole in my soul (that's been killing me forever) with stuff. I was identifying myself through what I owned. And I still felt like shit; know why? Because I wasn't filling anything. That hole was still empty but now I had money that was gone and rooms full of useless shit. Millennials love to collect shit. Pop vinyls, POGS, beanie babies, ear buds, toys, comics, old video games you name it. Our whole lives we've been marketed to and bought that shit with allowance and summer job money. But here's the thing:
The fact is we don't own anything. Not really at least. Life is more or less one big borrow. You are born alone and with nothing and die the same way. You can't take it with you as they say. What we should try to be conscious of is the fact that this whole trip is short no matter how long it might feel. Each day we get a new shot at a new start. Instead of trying to win let's try to really live. It really isn't a game. Think about it: is your commute fun? Do you enjoy running into the train for a seat or getting in front of that guy in the Audi A 6 wearing sunglasses on an overcast morning only to still be stuck behind a Guida milk truck? No it fucking sucks. And that's why I take the train and get stuck next to sneezing every forty seconds guy. But it's ok.
Because I got to the seat first.
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