When the levee breaks. Or, fell on black days.

"The sun is up the sky is blue it's beautiful and so are you..."

John Lennon

I grew up in the middle eighties through the middle nineties. As a result I was primarily a metal head but also got into several bands that were alternative and grunge. Of them I enjoyed Jane's Addiction, Nirvana, Pearl Jam , and my favorite was soundgarden. Chris Cornell had a voice that the other bands didn't have. He wrote lyrics that went beyond the disaffected alienated feelings the others used. Soundgarden reminded me so much of Blqck Sabbath (appropriate that he would record with both Ozzy and Tony Iommi later).  His lyrics touched on something deeper that many of the other bands (STP , Im looking at you) didn't. Drugs, death, fear, failure. All were fair game. But Chris never struck me as someone who had given up hope. He was someone who had true power with his voice and his guitar headlining two huge bands, Audioslave and Soundgarden. His solo work is also underrated and if you want to hear something truly beautiful his cover of Thank You by Led Zeppelin is unreal. Standing in a theater with an acoustic guitar and singing a song of longing fit him well. For me there's nobody with a cooler overall presence and ability rolled into one than Chris Cornell. 

So today Chris hanged himself. 

And I'm sitting in my office trying to figure out how and why and what this all means. I never met him. I don't know him. But his death is hitting me like another celebrity death by suicide Robin Williams. Chris had arguably the best pure rock and roll voice ever. Able to hit notes on the entire note spectrum while being a gifted lyricist and composer Chris is someone I looked up to as a musician. His lyrics were honest and deep without depending on emotional theatrics and hyperbolic canvases of angst. It was relatable. Fell on black days is a song I can listen to all the time because it's something we can all relate to.  When you're a musician chances are you've gone through some heavy shit. The traditional path of expression probably doesn't do enough to get your point across and you grab a piece of wood with strings tied to it and rhythmically read poetry that conveys your feelings. When you break it down like that the true power shows itself. And Chris could do so much more than just play the guitar and sing. He could make you feel like you were next to him and he was singing just to you. He could make you cry , he could make you think, but most of all he could make you happy you listened. I wish that Chris didn't hang himself. I wish I could go see him perform once more. Suicide is a bitch. It's a bitch to the person who goes through with it. It's a bitch to the people left behind. I'm going to save the usual get help if you feel suicidal message for another one; think about life a little bit. Think about the things that you have honestly. Think about the blessings and think about the shitty things. And once you have it all in your head look around you and see where you are. Inside, outside, doesn't matter. You're here. You're alive. And that's beautiful. You might not think it is, but it is. It's a story you're writing, a song you're composing. And it's the only thing that is yours. Truly yours. If it sucks, then see if you can make some adjustments to make it suck less. If you're feeling lost and alone and on your own look at the others around you and realize they do too. We're all alone together. When life gets hard, it's no holds barred man. I miss Chris. I miss Robin. And now I'm going to sit in my rusty cage for a while. 

See you Sunday.